Lift Dickie Bird Where He Belongs

from Cpl Kipper's Barnsley Trades Club Turn (2020) by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

Lift Dickie Bird Where He Belongs
(Lyrics: Scott Doonican)

Who knows what the morning brings,
In the Tarn after folks have been art
All I know is when they’re on the lash,
They leave gifts on his finger when dark
Their deeds are wrong
There are times when I sit and pray
For Barnsley council to shift him art o’ t’way

Lift Dickie Bird where he belongs
Just a couple of feet from yobs on the street
Please lift him up where he belongs
Far from his street-level home, where the drunks do roam

They dangle things on his finger-tip
He’s a target, and you can see why
From the minute Graham Ibbeson broke his mould,
He became a joke, night after night
How low can they go?
They leave knickers and condoms ararnd
Dangling from the most famous finger in t’Tarn

Lift Dickie Bird where he belongs
Move him from harm’s way and he’ll be okay
Please lift him up where he belongs
Yes we know he’s a fart, but you can’t do that to fine art

So listen up folks... a joke ain’t a joke,
When Dickie’s had it up to here...
Raise him up five feet, yeah!

They made a plinth where he belongs
Now you won’t need barbed wire, protecting this umpire
Much safer up where he belongs
Pointing way up high, to Barnsley’s bright blue skies
He’s lifted up where he belongs
Raised him up five feet, lookin’ darn on t’street
He’s lifted up where he belongs
No crisp bags or bras left on his outstretched right finger
Who knows what the morning brings...

credits

from Cpl Kipper's Barnsley Trades Club Turn (2020), released October 8, 2020

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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