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lyrics

No Fillin’ In Me Pie
(Lyrics: Danny Doonican)

I nipped to Terry’s butty van for a belly bustin’ treat
There were a picture of a massive pie
With about half a pound of meat
I parted with me £2.10, ‘twas cheap at twice the price
But when I cut the crusty top, I couldn’t believe me eyes

Bloody hell mate! Hold the gravy!
There’s no fillin’ in me pie!

I delved around inside the crust to try and find me meat
But all I found were onions
And they don’t agree wi’ me
I found a bit of carrot, and half frozen pea
And then to top the bugger off… no sugar in me tea!

Bloody hell mate! Hold the gravy!
There’s no fillin’ in me pie!

Well I marched back to the butty van,
Me patience was wearing thin
I slammed the tea upon the counter
And I chucked the pie at him
I said “This pie has got no meat,
There’s no sugar in me tea”
He said “You want some filling, cock?
That’s another 80p”

Bloody hell mate! Hold the gravy!
There’s no fillin’ in me pie!

credits

from Cpl Kipper's Barnsley Trades Club Turn (2020), released October 8, 2020

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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