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lyrics

The Ballad Of Kipper Jackson
(Lyrics: Scott Doonican)

Kenneth Jackson, 61,
He once walked free but now he’s gone
And Facebook says, “Free the Barnsley 1”,
And that ‘1’ is Kipper Jackson

He walked Barnsley’s streets so broad and fair,
A karaoke-machine in an old push chair
Now Tarnsfolk cry out in despair,
“They’ve locked-up Kipper Jackson!”

CHORUS:
Kipper Jackson’s t’talk o’ t’Tarn,
And PC Porter took him down
When he slapped a bun right into his crown
Shout out, “Free Kipper Jackson!”
Kipper Jackson ‘Karaoke King’,
He entertains the public, croons and sings
And think of all the joy he brings,
Shout out, “Free Kipper Jackson”

PC Porter, late one night,
Had to nick some lads who got into a fight
And Kenneth Jackson only had two pints,
‘Cos of 25 years on Pub Watch.

Armed with a bun and a glint in his eye,
The embodiment of how to be dignified
He didn’t turn the other cheek and he didn’t walk by,
No, he sent the cream bun flying!

The cream bun stuck to the copper’s head,
“That’s it, you’re nicked!” PC Porter said
“You’ll be swapping your bun for prison food instead,
Yeah, you’re going down Kipper Jackson.”

But he launched another at the panda car
And it’s safe to say that he didn’t get far
And people hailed him a super star,
‘For Mayor vote Kipper Jackson’

Kenneth Jackson appeared before
A Sheffield Court And Judge Robert Moore
And on a red T-shirt he proudly wore,
The plea “Free Kipper Jackson”

The judge said, “You’re here to be tried.
A custodial sentence is justified
And you’re off to the cells for two years inside,
Fare thee well, Mr Kipper Jackson.”

Kenneth Jackson’s in a four foot cell,
Yeah, the judge sent the poor bugger straight to hell
And for chucking a bun, he’ll do a two year spell,
God Bless poor Kipper Jackson

The moral to this sad, sad tale,
May come to light if he ever gets bail
Don’t celebrate with cake, but a pint of ale.
Three cheers for Kipper Jackson!

Free Kipper Jackson, poor Kipper Jackson,
Free the ‘Barnsley 1’
Free Kipper Jackson, poor Kipper Jackson,
Barnsley’s favourite son

Kenneth Jackson was released
And he vowed that he never disturbed the peace
Or chucked cream buns at the ‘aul Police.
Shout HOORAY for Kipper Jackson!

credits

from Cpl Kipper's Barnsley Trades Club Turn (2020), released October 8, 2020

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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