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So here it is... Merry Christmas:

I genuinely spent a lot of time trying to gauge this right. As a comedy band, I know we have absolutely no right to be wandering into politics, nor should we ever be satirical or indeed ever be poignant. That's just simply not our job. Our job is to be funny and bring smiles to the faces of as many as we can. That we know to be true... BUT...

This Christmas we tried to do something totally out of character, i.e. NOT be funny but still bring smiles to the faces of those in need. Excuse us if you disagree strongly. Normal service will resume in 2017.
In the words of Shelter's own campaign 'Enough is Enough'.

We do hope our fans and friends will get behind this year's Christmas single - please share it far and wide but more importantly download it. Every penny of profit goes straight to Shelter this year to help those much less fortunate than ourselves. Dig deep, spread the word, and remember, just when we all think we have it bad, there are often many more that are worse off than ourselves.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank our amazing Producer to the Stars, our dear friend, Maartin Allcock, and also our partner-in-crime, Barnsley's finest renegade of folk, Dave Burland for joining us. It's been an absolute dream to work with both of you, but more so as you both shared our vision and our message.

Peace, love and understanding
Scott Doonican
1st Dec 2016

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released December 1, 2016

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley Rock City in't north, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are determined to follow in their father's immortal footsteps. They naturally began to perform other famous people’s songs complete with lyrics about life in't North and to complete their squeaky-clean image, they became instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense.
EY UP! LET'S GO!
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Track Name: Merry Christmas Everybody (Festive Folk Mix)
Have you sold the NHS to all your mates
Overtaxed the poor and axed their interest rates
Have you lined all of your pockets
Put a tonne in a Swiss bank
While the whole thing stinks just like a septic tank

So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody's looking glum
Where is our future now? You've sold it to your chums

While you're waiting for the families to starve
Are you trying to cut that deficit in half?
While me granny's sat theer freezin'
Her fuel allowance has been axed
You'll be sat in your huge house, warm and relaxed

So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody's had enough
There is no future now, like turkeys, we've been stuffed

What would old Maggie do
Probably snatch the milk left out for Santa Claus ahaaaaa haaa

There's no hanging up a stocking on your wall
When your Christmas Dinner comes from a food-hall
While they're frackin' on hillside
There are millions unemployed
While the poor stay poor, the rich stay overjoyed

So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody's looking glum
Where is our future now? You've sold it to your chums

So now your Christmas is cancelled
Cos the there's no-one having fun
Look to the future now… they've only just begun
Track Name: Merry Christmas Everybody (Maart's Wall Of Sound Mix)
Have you sold the NHS to all your mates
Overtaxed the poor and axed their interest rates
Have you lined all of your pockets
Put a tonne in a Swiss bank
While the whole thing stinks just like a septic tank

So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody's looking glum
Where is our future now? You've sold it to your chums

While you're waiting for the families to starve
Are you trying to cut that deficit in half?
While me granny's sat theer freezin
Her fuel allowance has been axed
You'll be sat in your huge house, warm and relaxed

So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody's had enough
There is no future now, like turkeys, we've been stuffed

What would old Maggie do
Probably snatch the milk left out for Santa Claus ahaaaaa haaa

There's no hanging up a stocking on your wall
When your Christmas Dinner comes from a food-hall
While they're frackin' on hillside
There are millions unemployed
While the poor stay poor, the rich stay overjoyed

So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody's looking glum
Where is our future now? You've sold it to your chums

So here it is Merry Christmas, everybody's had enough
There is no future now, like turkeys, we've been stuffed

So now your Christmas is cancelled
Cos the there's no-one having fun
Look to the future now… they've only just begun
Track Name: Wake Up Little Suzie (feat. Dave Burland)
Wake up, little Susie, wake up
Wake up, little Susie, wake up

We've both been sound asleep, wake up, little Susie, and weep
The movie's over, it's four o'clock, and we're in trouble deep
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie

Well, whatta we gonna tell your mama?
Whatta we gonna tell your pa?
Whatta we gonna tell our friends when they say "ooh-la-laâ"?
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie

Well I told your mama that you'd be in by ten
Well Susie baby looks like we goofed again
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie, we gotta go home

Wake up, little Susie, wake up
Wake up, little Susie, wake up

The movie wasn't so hot, it didn't have much of a plot
We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie

Well, whatta we gonna tell your mama?
Whatta we gonna tell your pa?
Whatta we gonna tell our friends when they say "ooh-la-laâ"?
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie
Track Name: I'm Glad It's Not Black Friday Every Day (Christmas Single 2015)
When they’re camped out in the snow
Artside the Asda or t'Tesco
I despair for the future of the human race
‘cos by night it should be quiet
But by midnight it’s a riot
They’ll brek darn the doors to mek damn sure that they’re first in line today

Well I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
When the chavs are feightin for a flat-screen on display
Oh I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
Why don’t you shop online this Christmas?

When it’s rammed in Marks and Sparks
I think “Stuff this for a lark!”
I would much rather take me chances with eBay
Have you forgotten festive cheer?

Don’t stab a shopper, grab a beer
You can shove this farce right up yer arse until after Boxing Day!

Well I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
Just remember we’re in Britain this is not the USA
Oh I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
Don’t punch a stranger out this Christmas?

So if you’re fighting to the front
For an X-Box you’re a chuff
Who is more sadistic than 50 Shades Of Grey
‘cos when Santa brings his sleigh
Around for Jesus’ birthday
You find the kids toys were broken in the fight to the checkout on the way

Well I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
I can leave the Frozen boxset for a fiver for another day
Oh I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
I’m gonna stay in me house til Christmas

Well I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
It’s even more ridiculous than Donald Trump’s toupee
Oh I’m glad it’s not Black Friday every day
What the hell went wrong with Christmas?

Why don't you think it through this Christmas?

When they're camped out in the snow
Artside the Asda or t'Tesco