Only us, Keith Richards and cockroaches left (2020), by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

Only us, Keith Richards and cockroaches left (2020)

by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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	1.	Scott Doonican Introduction 01:57
	2.	Bag For Life 04:12
	3.	Sing 06:17
	4.	If I Could Punch A Face... 06:13
	5.	Big Coffee Brand 07:28
	6.	Crazy Crazy Golf 06:07
	7.	I Can't Stand Him 05:48
	8.	She's From Dodworth 07:44
	9.	Get 'Em Art Of The Pub 04:17
	10.	Walking In Manpiss 04:38
	11.	Since You've Been Ron 04:40
	12.	B.I.S.T.O. 03:40
	13.	All Ararnd My Hat 00:53
	14.	Place Of Spades 03:15
	15.	Massage In A Brothel 03:57
	16.	Nando's 03:42
	17.	Arse On Fire 04:53
	18.	Vatican Broadside 01:25
	19.	The Ornithologist Waltz 06:54
	20.	Frisky In The Jar 06:27
	21.	All The Dinner Ladies 04:25
	22.	How Deep Is Your Glove? 04:42
	23.	Paint 'Em Back 03:37
	24.	Festival Heroes 06:46
	25.	Too Good To Be Jus 07:14
	26.	Silent Farter 04:01
	27.	The Lady In Greggs 03:57
	28.	The Cockwombling Song 05:01
	29.	The Devil Went Darn To Barnsley 07:29

about

Show #969... the night that my tablet (containing all of my lyrics) died on stage during the second song of the night at Washford Memorial Hall, Watchet, whilst we were celebrating the band's 13th Birthday.
Some of you will know how much of a fear I have of forgetting the words, and so I have always had them on stage with me somewhere. It is not that I don't know them, but the fear of forgetting them is so great because if I forget anything and then panic, that fear pushes all of the rest of the words out of my head! The thing is, I have always figured that if Bruce Springsteen can have an autocue monitor, and Michael Stipe from R.E.M. and Paul Heaton can use a music stand on stage, then why shouldn't I? (after all they get paid way more than me!)

Needless to say, it made it quite an 'interesting' night, and the onstage banter between us as a band, was probably funnier than the songs as a result. Both Bjorn and Alan are the definite heroes of the show, taking it in turn to up the ante, and take the piss at every possible chance, much to the delight of our audience.

If truth be told, I had forgotten that Bjorn had decided to try and record the show using our new mixing desk, however that was probably because of the ensuing chaos... we went from the nasty surprise that my tablet was dead, to realising that it wasn't going to be usable for the rest of the show. Luckily, Amanda eventually remembered that the old paper 'hard copies' were in the boot of our car, before she took a copy of the setlist from the stage and quickly got me the next song in the set. Whilst we played she located the next few, buying us some time. She then commenced the arduous task of finding the relevant words and putting them in the order on the setlist so that by the second half we had sorted it out! As we didn't have hard copies of songs from Place of Spades, there were obviously some glaring clangers dropped!

The first half of this concert was nothing short of being our own disaster movie, with myself as the central protagonist. After a completely unrelated Facebook conversation with a fan/friend of the band, I decided to call the imaginary soundtrack to that movie, "Only us, Keith Richards and cockroaches left," because if the nuclear holocaust ever came, according to Sophie Watson, that would be all that would remain!

Anyway, we decided that for Bandcamp Friday, we would treat you all to an official bootleg of that show, so you can relive the drama... all two and a half hours of it!

Scott Doonican
3rd Dec 2020

credits

released December 4, 2020

Recorded during Show #969 at Washford Memorial Hall, Watchet, Somerset on Saturday 15th June 2019

Scott Doonican:
vocals, acoustic guitar, synthesizer uke, regular meltdowns

Bjorn Doonicansson:
vocals, sarcasm, fiddle, tenor banjo, mandolin, beatboxing

Alan Doonican:
vocals, dad jokes, piano accordion, keyboards, uke, additional lashings of sarcasm, eye-candy

Thanks to Amanda for saving the day and running merch, Claire Howe & Lizzie Morris on sound on the night, our amazingly patient audience, Jackie & Mark Bale, Daniel Searle and all at Washford Memorial Hall, and Sophie Watson for helping to accidentally name this live album.

Recorded and mixed by Bjorn Doonicansson
Edited for public consumption by Scott Doonican

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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