The Devil Went Darn To Barnsley .​.​.​and other stories (2014)

by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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1.
Lyrics by Scott Doonican Music by Charlie Daniels, Tom Crain, Taz DiGregorio, Fred Edwards, Charles Hayward, James W. Marshall The Devil went darn to Barnsley Tarn He war lookin' for a soul to steal. He war in a bind 'cos he war way behind And he war willin' to mek a deal When he came across this young ’un Laikin’ on t’fiddle and playin’ shit ‘ot. Well the Devil jumped up like a big daft lump, he said, "Ey up, I’ll tell thee what. I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player, too. And if you'd care, to tek a dare, I'll mek a bet with you. Now, you play pretty good fiddle, lad, but I’m gunna mek thee see. I'll bet a fiddle of gold against yer soul, ‘Coz I think I'm better than thee." The lad said, "My name's Björn, and it might be a sin. But I'll take your bet, you big red get 'Coz I'm t’best that's ever bin!" Björn you better get yer bow and play your fiddle hard, 'Coz hell's brok loose in Barnsley Tarn and t’Devil deals the cards. And if you win you get this shiny fiddle med of gold. But if you lose, the Devil gets yer soul. The Devil got his fiddle and he said, "Reight, off we go!" And fire flew from his fingertips and he put on quite a show And then he brought in Graham from Saxon, and Eliza Carthy as well These strangers in’t night, they din’t sound shite No, they rocked like bloody hell! When the Devil finished, Björn just said, "Thar pretty good, t’old lad, But sit darn ovver theer for a bit and I’ll mek thee look reight bad.” A Doonican frum Sweden livin’ in t‘Tarn I’ll show you what’s t’crack, I’m t’best ararnd T’Devil’s goin’ darn ‘coz he’s Number 1 Playing them hits with The Bar-Steward Sons The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d bin beat. And he laid that golden fiddle on’t ground at Björn’s feet. Björn said, "Devil, just come on back if thy ivver wants to try ageeain. 'Cos I told you once, you big daft chuff, I'm t’best that’s ever bin!" A Doonican frum Sweden livin’ in t‘Tarn I’ll show you what’s t’crack, I’m t’best ararnd T’Devil’s goin’ darn ‘coz he’s Number 1 Playing them hits with The Bar-Steward Sons
2.
Written by Steve Harris
3.
Written by Mick Harvey, Nick Cave & Thomas Wydler
4.
Written by Nicky Chinn & Mike Chapman Well, at the age of five they can do their jive Down in Devil Gate Drive And at the age of six they're gonna get their kicks Down in Devil Gate Drive Well your mama don't know where your sister done go She's gone down to the Drive. She's the start of the show And let her move on up. Let her come let her go. She can jive Down in Devil Gate Drive So come alive. Come alive Down in Devil Gate Drive So come alive. Come alive Down in Devil Gate... Down in Devil Gate Down in Devil Gate Drive Down in Devil Gate... Down in Devil Gate Down in Devil Gate Drive When they reach their teens, That's when they all get mean Down in Devil Gate Drive When she was sweet sixteen She was the jukebox queen Down in Devil Gate Drive She led the angel pack on the road to sin Knock down the gates! Let me in. Let me in Don't mess me 'round, cause you know where I've been To 'The Dive' down in Devil Gate Drive CHORUS Well your mama don't know where your sister done go She goes down to the Drive. She's the start of the show Let her move on up. Let her come let her go. She can jive Down in Devil Gate Drive CHORUS x 2
5.
N.I.B. 03:41
Written by Geezer Butler, Tony Iommi, Ozzy Osbourne & Bill Ward Some people say my love cannot be true please believe me, my love, and I'll show you I will give you those things you thought unreal The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal Follow me now and you will not regret leaving the life you led before we met You are the first to have this love of mine forever with me 'till the end of time Your love for me has just got to be real before you know the way I'm going to feel I'm going to feel I'm going to feel Now I have you with me, under my power Our love grows stronger now with every hour Look into my eyes, you'll see who I am my name is Lucifer, please take my hand Follow me now and you will not regret leaving the life you led before we met You are the first to have this love of mine forever with me 'till the end of time Your love for me has just got to be real before you know the way I'm going to feel I'm going to feel I'm going to feel Now I have you with me, under my power Our love grows stronger now with every hour Look into my eyes, you'll see who I am my name is Lucifer, please take my hand
6.
Written by Beck Hansen, John King & Michael Simpson Something's wrong 'cause my mind is fading And everywhere I look There's a dead end waiting Temperature's dropping at the rotten oasis Stealing kisses from the leperous faces Heads are hanging from the garbage man trees Mouthwash jukebox gasoline pistols are pointing At a poor man's pockets Smiling eyes ripping out of his sockets Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Love machines on the sympathy crutches Discount orgies on the dropout buses Hitching a ride with the bleeding noses Coming to town with the brief case blues Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Something's wrong 'cause my mind is fading Ghetto-blasting disintegrating Rock 'n' roll, know what I'm saying And everywhere I look There's a dead end waiting Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind Got a devil's haircut in my mind
7.
Written by Andrew James Cairns, Martin McCarrick, Neil Cooper & Michael McKeegan Wanna spend my whole life drunk Never wanna give a fuck Wanna walk through gates of Heaven Backstage pass in hand St. Peter, park my car There's angels on my mind Fix me up some manna Where do you keep the wine? Put Venom on the jukebox Postcards to hell Hey Satan, you rock Get me Mary, she's a fox Postcards to hell Hey Satan, you rock Hey Satan, you rock Wanna spend my whole life drunk Never wanna give a fuck Wanna walk through gates of Heaven Backstage pass in hand St. Peter, park my car There's angels on my mind Fix me up some manna Where do you keep the wine? Stick Venom on the jukebox Postcards to hell Hey Satan, you rock Get me Mary, she's a fox Postcards to hell Hey Satan, you rock Hey Satan, you rock

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released October 31, 2014

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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