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lyrics

(Alan Lost His Wig On) Route 66
(Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Amanda White)
 
When Alan went to conquer the US
He took the highway, which was meant to be the best
But lost his wig on route sixty-six.
In a campervan, he set off from Frisco Bay
More than two thousand miles all the way.
He lost his wig on Route Sixty-Six.
 
Well he stopped off in Jackson to get him some action
No need for hairspray… some bugger pinched his toupee
So he spent the next fortneet looking art for his thatch
He wandered so wigless, looking for a witness
Who may have seen the rug-rustling smugglers…
It’s a crime, only a lowlife could commit
And without it, Alan wasn’t looking so hip
They pinched his wig on Route Sixty-Six.
 
He then asked the police if they’d found his hairpiece
But they couldn’t release the names of the hair thieves
The Chief said to Alan, “We’ll get the force on the case
From Vegas to Reno, we’ll ask if they’ve seen owt
We’ll check every rest room from San Bernadino”
And with that, the wig hunt was underway
There were SWAT teams and patrol cars all the way
Tracking darn his wig on Route Sixty-Six
 
The cops stopped a trucker who wasn’t a looker
But when they looked nearer it all became clearer
He was bald as a duck egg
And was wearing Alan’s rug on top
Trying to cross the border, he was really out of order
They slammed on the cuffs and took him off to prison
And with that, the wig-hunt was at an end
Alan reunited with his long lost friend
They found his wig on Route Sixty-Six

credits

from Sat'day Neet Fever (2013) [includes bonus video​-​stream access], released February 2, 2013
Inspired by true events on Alan Doonican's 'World Domination Tour 2012'

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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