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lyrics

Boris Johnson:
"From Thursday all pubs, bars and restaurants must operate a table service only, together with all hospitality venues they must close at 10pm. And to help the police to enforce this rule, I afraid that means alas closing and not just calling for last orders because simplicity is paramount"

Scott:
I did no drinking behind perspex screens
I drank to new extremes, hardly healthy
Whilst safe at home I kept the dream alive
From the morning, past the evening
And beyond 10 at night

Me brown bin's full of bottles now I'm stuck inside
Me brown bin's full of bottles now I'm stuck inside
Me brown bin's full of bottles now I'm stuck inside
Me brown bin's full of bottles now I'm stuck inside

I'm drinking, even though I've had me vaccines
The Harvey's Bristol Creme ran out
In the lockdown's first week
There's nothing much now that I wouldn't imbibe
I forced down Tetleys and flat Carlsberg
But I din't do Bud Light

I'm working down the sherry cos its fortified
I'm working down the sherry cos its fortified
I'm working down the sherry cos its fortified
I'm working down the sherry cos its fortified

And everybody hides the whisky at the bottom
Everyone hides the whisky
Everybody hides the whisky at the bottom
Everyone hides the whisky


Boris Johnson:
"And I know there is nothing more frustrating for the vast majority, than the sight of a few brazenly defying the rules"

Scott:
The absinthe, obliterated waiting for
The clinical trials
I didn't care abart no Government warnings,
Cos I stayed safe at home and got drunk as a lord

I'm running out of home brew and I'm mortified
There's not a single drink that I have set aside
There's cans of Special Brew that I can justify
Supped real ale, Guinness, paint thinners and peroxide

Everybody hides the whisky at the bottom
Everyone hides the whisky
Everybody hides the whisky at the bottom
Everyone hides the whisky
Everybody hides the whisky at the bottom
Everyone hides the whisky
Everybody hides the whisky at the bottom
Everyone hides the whisky

And I'm drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
And drinking
I'd sup formaldehyde

credits

from Rugh & Ryf (2022), released May 25, 2022
Scott: vocals, ukulele, bass, drum programming, Korg Monotron, bongos, electric guitar, analogue synth, theramin
Björn: tenor banjo, string quartet
Alan: piano accordion, tone-wheel organ

Special guests...
'Prime Minister' Boris Johnson: a f**king omnishambles

Written by Scott Doonican and Amanda White

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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