Bono's No Woman, To Me

from 'Ave It : Bold As Brass (2017) by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

Bono's No Woman To Me
(Lyrics: S.Doonican)

He can win an award, without being a girl
And he’ll ruin your faith in what’s good in this world
He’s got twenty-two Grammys, honorary degrees
And he can act like a tit, but Bono’s no woman to me

He has fought for world peace, and he met with Obama
And he could free Tibet, from the back of a llama
And he could save the planet for you and for me
But forget all that Glamour, cos Bono’s no woman to me

So, he puts it on his shelf
Next to his Brit Awards
Cos he thinks that it’s fine
Oh, and he never gives up
And he never gives in
And he never declines

He’s had number one albums, and mansion-sized homes
But I’m still pretty sure, he’s got both chromosomes
So how was he chosen as a nominee
Unless science has failed us, then Bono’s no woman to me

So, he puts it on his shelf
By his platinum discs
For The Unforgettable Fire
Oh, and he never gives up
And he never gives in
Though his music’s still dire

Were the judges all blind, had they been over-ruled
Could they not spot his tackle, was it too miniscule?
So rip up the rule book, because I guarantee
If his next souvenir, is ‘Playmate of the Year’
Then Bono’s no woman to me

credits

from 'Ave It : Bold As Brass (2017), released June 17, 2017

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican image

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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