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BONUS TRACK: Hey Big Spider!

from Place Of Spades (2019) by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

Hey! Big Spider!
Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Amanda White

The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you had more teeth than The Osmonds
A hairy bugger
And quite jumpy when you’re confined
You’ve got me in a sweat, I’m going out of my mind

So let me get right to the point
It is safe to say you aren’t my cup of tea
Gret big spider
Stay the chuff away from me

Get me an elephant gun, gun, gun
Or flame-thrower the bath, bath, bath
I’m not having a good time
No I’m a having a shit time

The minute you walked in the joint
I went and sent ar lass for a pint glass
And 12-inch Record
While I was frozen, terrified
Well wouldn't you like to know
Just where I was at that time?

I was hiding behind the settee
As I sacrificed ar lass for the good of the team
To that reight big spider
Eight legged scuttler
Gonna need a dry cleaner
‘cos I may have soiled me jeans

credits

from Place Of Spades (2019), released June 30, 2019

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all rights reserved

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about

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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