They’re Digging The Roads Up
(Lyrics: S.Doonican)

You’d only just sped it up ‘afore you had to slow it darn
There’s a tonne of traffic and it’s tailing back a mile or two frum’t Tarn
But soon you find when you pass the sign… they’re digging the roads up
So then you quickly turn it off before you burn your new clutch art
You’re running late already and it’s just thing to mek you scream and shart
Coz you find that it’s t’Council’s time… for digging the roads up

It says ‘Delays expected until the end of June’
But when they end in August – the new sign says ‘more coming soon’

But there is just a gret big hole and a brokken traffic light
There’s one fella diggin’ while the rest are watchin’ him – that’s abart reight
There’s loads of fuss, but there ain’t a rush… they’re digging the roads up
And then to mek it worse the lazy buggers cun’t care less
And when they’re likely to finish mekkin’ people late is anyone’s best guess
So now you know where your council tax goes… on digging the roads up

You’re sat bumper to bumper – on Sunday it’s a farce
If only there were workmen, you’d stick them cones right up their arse!

Eventually they clear it up and start to tek the cones away
And the bloke with the sign lettin’ two at a time out isn’t here today
The digger’s gone ‘cause they’ve finally done… with digging the roads up
But soon they tear it all back up because there’s summat else to do
You would’ve thought that they could’ve done two jobs at once – it isn’t hard to do
Yet more expense… there’s no common sense… they’re digging roads up