Eaten Alive
(Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Amanda White)
Well you can tell by the way I can hardly walk
I’ve been bitten theer, no time to talk
I’ve got prickly heat and I’m feeling warm
I’ve been dined on by a chuffin’ swarm
I’m not alright, I’m not okay
A tube of cream wain’t save the day
At least you can start to understand
Why I’m looking like the Elephant Man
Whenever I’m on holiday, in the night
I’m allus getting eaten alive, eaten alive
Feel the buggers biting me
In places that they shouldn’t be
Been eaten alive, eaten alive
I’ve been bitten so low that my voice is high
And if it swells much more I’m gonna cry
Me plums are the size of the south of France
I’ve got no ants in me pants, but I’ve got to dance
They itch like mad, I’m reight pigged off
They even hurt when I try to cough
I asked the doctor t’other day
“Can you leave the swelling, but tek the pain away?”
Whenever I’m on holiday, in the night
I’m allus getting eaten alive, eaten alive
Feel the buggers biting me
In places that they shouldn’t be
Eaten alive, eaten alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive, eaten alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive
(Odd looks from the people on the dance-floor)
The swelling’s going nowhere,
Somebody help me, somebody help me
The mossies think I’m dinner,
Somebody help me, somebody help me
I’ve been eaten alive
Won’t be repelled, won’t let me be
I try to hide but they still find me
I’ve sprayed the room, I’ve sprayed me skin
I’ve got a net ararnd me keks but they still get in
Whenever I’m on holiday, in the night
I’m allus getting eaten alive, eaten alive
Feel the buggers biting me
In places that they shouldn’t be
Eaten alive, eaten alive
Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over
1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody....more
Gaz, having finally got this in the CD player, what an absolute stunner of an album, a glorious document of the hardest year in history, emotions, tears, mass singalongs, “The Old Normal”, one of my absolute key songs of last year and, topping them all, “Rule”, Gaz does full tilt screaming metal and it’s f’ing glorious! Neil Mitchell
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans. Bandcamp New & Notable May 29, 2020
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 18, 2019
The more recent albums have been good (though I'm still to be convinced by Lost Folk), but this is still Gaz's best album. Cornish Fishing Town is superb (loved the duet with Nick at South Petherton a few years ago), but Knights of the Round Table is another level again - my absolute favourite Gaz song, though not one for live shows, sadly. zummerzet66