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lyrics

Eaten Alive
(Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Amanda White)
 
Well you can tell by the way I can hardly walk
I’ve been bitten theer, no time to talk
I’ve got prickly heat and I’m feeling warm
I’ve been dined on by a chuffin’ swarm
I’m not alright, I’m not okay
A tube of cream wain’t save the day
At least you can start to understand
Why I’m looking like the Elephant Man
 
Whenever I’m on holiday, in the night
I’m allus getting eaten alive, eaten alive
Feel the buggers biting me
In places that they shouldn’t be
Been eaten alive, eaten alive
 
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive, eaten alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive
 
I’ve been bitten so low that my voice is high
And if it swells much more I’m gonna cry
Me plums are the size of the south of France
I’ve got no ants in me pants, but I’ve got to dance
They itch like mad, I’m reight pigged off
They even hurt when I try to cough
I asked the doctor t’other day
“Can you leave the swelling, but tek the pain away?”
 
Whenever I’m on holiday, in the night
I’m allus getting eaten alive, eaten alive
Feel the buggers biting me
In places that they shouldn’t be
Eaten alive, eaten alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive, eaten alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive
 
(Odd looks from the people on the dance-floor)
 
The swelling’s going nowhere,
Somebody help me, somebody help me
The mossies think I’m dinner,
Somebody help me, somebody help me
I’ve been eaten alive
 
Won’t be repelled, won’t let me be
I try to hide but they still find me
I’ve sprayed the room, I’ve sprayed me skin
I’ve got a net ararnd me keks but they still get in
 
Whenever I’m on holiday, in the night
I’m allus getting eaten alive, eaten alive
Feel the buggers biting me
In places that they shouldn’t be
Eaten alive, eaten alive
 
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive, eaten alive
Ah, ah, ah, ah, eaten alive

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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