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lyrics

Every Time She Tries To Park... 
(Lyrics: S.Doonican)

I ain't got the guts to tell her
That there's one vital statistic that she lacks
And as she starts moving nearer
I just lose my nerve, as she reverses back

Every time she tries to park it's tragic
Every time I try to be polite
She's really in her stride when moving forwards
But when she's moving backwards she's just poor...

I don't have to tell the story
It is clear spatial awareness is amiss
She claims the reason she's still struggling 
Is I lied about how long 8 inches is 

Every time she tries to park's traumatic
You could say her twelve point turn was slow
Even when there is no sign of traffic
She's had as many hits as Status Quo

There's every chance, she'd mess it up
A hundred times a day
And though I sound a sexist pratt
Her reverse park's a cliché
To relieve the fears that grip me
Now our poor car's past its prime
Got her a colouring book for Christmas
To practise staying in the lines

Every time she tries to park it's tragic
She's moving in and out, it takes so long
Pretty much just like the Pope's a Catholic
You can guarantee she'll get wrong

And when she loses her rag, it get's drastic
Her reversing to space should be condemned
But she has got a gift like Uri Gellar
There's not a single metal she can't bend

Every time she tries to park 
Every time she tries to park
Every time she tries to park
It’s tragic

credits

from 'Ave It : Bold As Brass (2017), released June 17, 2017

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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