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Hi​-​Ho Mr Traffic Warden

from 'EY UP! LET'S GO! (2012) by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

Hi Ho Mr Traffic Warden
(Lyrics: Scott Doonican)

You're everywhere and nowhere, lately - You sneaky prat
Going darn the local roadsides - In your stupid hat
Sticking tickets on the windscreens - Slyer than a rat
You’re jumping out just like a ninja - As soon as I’ve turned me back

And it’s hi-ho Mr Traffic Warden - Oh you slimy toad, you got me
Stick yer ticket where the sun ain’t shining
Cos you’re a sneaky chuff - And it’s obvious

You’re always hiding rarnd the corner - sneaking art now and then
Armed with a fixed penalty notice - your notepad and your Argos pen
Anything I say is pointless - You’d only tow me car off instead
Your hat must have that yellow line on - so no bugger parks on your head

And it’s hi-ho Mr Traffic Warden - Oh you slimy toad, you got me
Stick yer ticket where the sun ain’t shining
Ooh you cheeky chuff – You think yer marvellous

I was parked on the double yellas - And like some renegade, you got me
I could try and talk you art of it
But you dun’t give a stuff – You’re quite oblivious

And it’s hi-ho Mr Traffic Warden - Oh you slimy toad, you got me
Stick yer ticket where the sun ain’t shining
Cos you’re a flamin’ chuff - And it’s obvious
And it’s hi-ho Mr Traffic Warden - Oh you rotten get, you got me…
I’m off to B&Q to get an angle-grinder
To tek this wheel-clamp off - It’s just ridiculous

credits

from 'EY UP! LET'S GO! (2012), released March 17, 2012

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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