If I Could Punch A Face...

from The Dark Side Of The Tarn (2011) by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

If I Could Punch A Face…
(Lyrics: S.Doonican)

There’s a fever sweeping ‘cross the country now - It’s even worse than all the fans of Glee
He’s on every bloody cover, of every magazine - irritating normal folk like me
If I could punch a face… it’d be Justin Bieber’s - There’s not a trace of doubt in my mind
He’s a chuff - can’t stand Justin Bieber - Hope he gets fever or even hives

He’s only twelve and wrote his own biography (in crayon) - His face adorns the shelves of every shop (it’s sickening)
All the girls go crazy - he’s the prince of pop - but what will happen when his bollocks drop?
If I could punch a face… it’d be Justin Bieber’s - There’s not a trace of doubt in my mind
He’s an arse - I hate Justin Bieber - Singing “Baby-Oh”, like, a billion times

He’s got a stupid haircut, and his music’s crap - You couldn’t tire from giving him a slap
If I could punch a face… it’d be Justin Bieber’s - There’s not a trace of doubt in my mind
Switch his music off - destroy ‘Bieber Fever’ and poke Justin Bieber in the eye
If I could punch a face… it’d be Justin Bieber’s - Seek medical advice if you’ve got Bieber Fever
‘Cause it’s worse than clap!

credits

from The Dark Side Of The Tarn (2011), released June 18, 2011

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about

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican image

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more