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lyrics

It’s Only Man-Flu
Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Amanda White
 
The Lemsip’s out, the kettle’s on t’boil
I feel like I’m shuffling off this mortal coil
You think I’m a wuss - but I’m pretty worried about it
My temperature’s hot, the sweating won’t stop
I feel stuffy, I can’t clear this catarrh
You can say what you like - it’s got chuff-all to do with me gender

“It’s only man-flu” - that’s what you said when I called for you
“It’s just a touch of cold… man-up and get your own tissues!”
 
Cleared all the Kleenex, in an epic sneezing session
You couldn’t care less, I can see your expression
And I know it will get worse - this snot-filled volcano’s erupting
 
I’ve got aches in my bones, and I’m covered in Vick
I can’t recall a time that I felt quite so sick
You know it’s coming out both ends
But you claim that’s not worse than childbirth

“It's only man flu” is how I just get fobbed-off by you
You claim there’s nothing wrong, but men can get cystitis too
You’re far from tactful, and now you’re turning a blind eye
Have my next of kin been notified?

I’m shaking like a shitting dog - but you’re bolder than brass
And all that I say, just falls on deaf ears again
And while I’m aggrieved - you just dun’t believe

You say “It’s man-flu,
And there is every chance that you’ll pull through
It's not bubonic plague
No, there’s bugger-all that’s wrong with you”
It’s quite substantial - but you say it’s not a crisis
I can’t be rational - when I’m dying of norovirus

credits

from T'South 0 - Tarn 4 (2016), released May 11, 2016

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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