Name: Massage In A Brothel (Original Demo)
Duration: P00H04M08S
Description: Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Amanda White

Massage In A Brothel (Original Demo)

from The Tarn Machine (2015) [includes video-stream access to the album performed live] by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Amanda White

lyrics

Lost in Amsterdam – so drunk that I can’t see, oh
And I can’t find me mates – there’s no-one left but me, oh
And on those cobbled streets – I slipped and put me back out
And I could hardly move, all I could was shout-out
A lass walked up to me, she was ever so polite
She said “My name’s Roxanne”, under crimson neon lights
She helped me to my feet, and walked me up some stairs
To a small red room, it was then that I got scared

I'd send an SMS to me bird - but I know that she’ll go completely berserk
I know I’ve really cocked up - I never meant to end up
Or even planned to get a massage in a brothel

I woke face down, I got up to get my coat
I knew by then it was time to depart
But she blocked the door, she was all dressed in leather
With a gimp mask and a riding crop, she’d break more than my heart

I'd send an SMS to me bird - but I know she’ll go completely berserk
I know Roxanne did not stop - and I could hardly stand up
Me back felt worse after that massage in a brothel

Woke up next morning - don't believe what I saw
Whips and chains and rubber objects scattered round the floor
It was then I screamed at the top of me lungs
As she gave me lacerations right across me plums

I'd send an SMS to me bird - but with me hands in chains it won’t work
I didn’t need a close-up - I know I nearly threw up
I never thought it would get messy in that brothel

Sendin' out an SOS - rather than the SMS
I need some time to convalesce - after all of this undue stress

I'd send an SMS to me bird - but I know she’d go completely berserk
I’m looking pretty messed up - she’ll say I’ve never grown up
And to think it started with a massage in a brothel

credits

from The Tarn Machine (2015) [includes video-stream access to the album performed live], released June 1, 2015

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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