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lyrics

Mobile Phone
Lyrics: Scott Doonican

You just sit and tinker
With the world at your fingers
While you're lit up by a ghostly glow
An entire generation
Are lacking animation
Where's yer chuffin get up and go?
It's like some weird hypnosis
But you wouldn't even notice
Cos you're somewhere in the twilight zone
Putting multitudes of filters
On your Instagram pictures
While you're faffing on your mobile phone

(Mobile phone)
Fifty times you've changed your Facebook cover
Stop swiping right on Tinder for me mother!
You could lose entire days
While you're faffing on your mobile phone

You're so devastated when you've used up all your data
Cos it messes with your whole routine
While every gig you go to, the poor sods behind you
Have to watch it through your 4 inch screen
You can't wait to unlock it when it vibrates in yer pocket
When the WiFi's down you mope and groan
You're borderline unstable
With no power source or cable
When your battery's dead on your iPhone

(Mobile phone)
Omnipresent on Facebook Live or Twitter
Why d'ya need an app for ordering your dinner!?
Don't you know the world is passing by
While you're faffing on your mobile phone


Technology's advancing but yer phone isn't enhancing
Social skills that you're lacking in life
It replaces your camera, alarm clock 'n calender
Like a modern Swiss Army Knife
But for all those enhancements, and all those advancements
STOP BORING ME WITH YOUR RINGTONE!
Your fingers move like lightning
Which the girls would find exciting
If they weren't upon your mobile phone

(Mobile phone)
Yet another thing that I am condemning )
You're just blindly walking like a lemming
Wand'ring into the bus lane
Are you STILL playing Pokemon Go!?!

(Mobile phone)
I don't care if it's iOS or it's Android
If I had me way they'd all be destroyed
Can't we just turn back the clock
What ever happened to the old pay phone?

credits

from Place Of Spades (2019), released June 30, 2019

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all rights reserved

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about

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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