Since You've Been Ron

from The Tarn Machine (2015) [includes video-stream access to the album performed live] by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

Since You’ve Been Ron
Lyrics: Alan Doonican #2 / Scott Doonican / Amanda White

I get the same old dream, same time every night
Of you in that dress and make up
I still remember when you turned to me in bed and said
Your life needed a shake up
Six months of work in West Berlin
But now my her has changed to a him

Oh since you’ve been Ron, since you’ve been Ron
I’m struggling with the whole ‘man’ thing
It just seems so wrong, ‘cos since you’ve been Ron
Now you can wee while standing

I just can’t understand, why you want to be a man
Your curves were in the right places
Your chest is all hairy,
But still the weirdest thing for me is
Beards on both of our faces
I used to love to watch you dance
But now I’m scared of what’s in your pants

Oh since you’ve been Ron, your voice has gone
All gravelly like Joe Cocker’s
I’m far from impressed, you swapped your bra for a vest
I preferred you when you had knockers

I’ll make a bob or two
All your Jimmy Choo shoes are going on ebay…

Oh since you’ve been Ron, since you’ve been Ron
You’ve learnt how to leave pans soaking
Oh since you’ve been Ron, something’s gone wrong
I used to do all the poking

Ever since you’ve been Ron

credits

from The Tarn Machine (2015) [includes video-stream access to the album performed live], released June 1, 2015

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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