Strung Up Like A Gud 'Un

from 'EY UP! LET'S GO! (2012) by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

Strung Up Like A Good Un’
(Lyrics: Andy Doonican)

I always knew it would happen - with me and the girl from Shafton
Art rarnd Worsbrough Common - that night I ain't forgotten
When she dished art her passion - she din’t give it in rations
When I said “You aren’t a lady” - she said her dad 'd bray me...

We moved into a basement - she talked abart engagement
We din’t even ‘ave a telly - and the bathroom was reight smelly
We spent our time just suppin' – argued ovver who wa’ cookin’
But she got chuffin’ knocked up - so it was time I f..... walked away

I got a job on t’ market - It wor indoor selling carpets
They started me on’t Sat’day - so I had me weekly bath on Sunday
I worked for half an hour - and nicked me bird some flowers
She said she'd seen a doctor - and almost nowt could stop her

I grafted through the winter - I switched from lager t’ bitter
I almost saved a tenner - then spent-up on an all dayer
And when the time was ready - I even nicked a telly
She weren’t back’ard at comin’ for’ard – cos she even wanted Sky+ (...HD an all!)

This morning at four twenty – contractions, she had plenty
Rushed her to the Barnsley General - the next few hours were mental
She came home with a daughter - within a year I wondered
Why she din’t look like her mother - so who the fecks the Mother?

Now the babby’s two years older - her mother's pissed off with a soldier
Nivver knew a lass more bolder - Me mates said she’d do me ovver
Being a dad came and took me - from t’ playgroup to the dole queue
No more neets art nickin tellies - just chuffin’ loadsa nappies smelling

Alone here in’t kitchen - I feel there's summat missin'
The kid’s ginger with an afro - and how the hell, I dun’t know!
The ex wain't do a DNA test - Cos Jezza Kyle he knows best
And so it's no assumption - I’ve been strung up like a good un’

credits

from 'EY UP! LET'S GO! (2012), released March 17, 2012

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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