Scott & Frank:
To the east to the east
The road beneath our feet
To the west to the west
Even Lancashire’s impressed
From the north from the north
We are always back and forth
To the south, to the south
Yeah we’re always chuffing out!

Frank:
Ever since my childhood, I've been scared, I've been afraid
Of being trapped by circumstance and staying in one place
So I always keep a small bag full of clothes carefully stored
Somewhere secret, somewhere safe and somewhere close to the door

Scott:
Ever since we started out, I've always been aware
Our show’s much more than tank tops and our mops of gorgeous hair I often sit and pinch myself, about how far we’ve come
Our dad spawned many brothers but we all have diff’rent mums

Scott & Frank:
To the east to the east
The road beneath our feet
To the west to the west
Even Lancashire’s impressed
From the north from the north
We are always back and forth
To the south, to the south
Yeah we’re always chuffing out!

Frank:
Well I've travelled many countries, I've washed my feet in many seas
I've drunk with drifters in Vienna and with punks in old DC
And I've driven across deserts driven by the irony
That only being shackled to the the road could ever I be free

Scott:
Well we’ve travelled cross our country, simply trying to mek folk laugh
We've drank from here to Glastonbury, and from Tarn to Matlock Bath
And we've played a boat on Norfolk’s Broads and to ten folk in Glasgow We’ve played Buxton chuffing Opera House, even though those twats said no

Scott & Frank:
To the east to the east
The road beneath our feet
To the west to the west
Even Lancashire’s impressed
From the north from the north
We are always back and forth
To the south, to the south
Yeah we’re always chuffing out!

Scott: Festivals and theatres, pubs and clubs, village halls too
Frank: We’ve often clocked up miles and miles to bring our show to you
Scott & Frank:
And the nights a thousand nights we've played
And a thousand more to go
Before I take my pint and raise it up
To the next one thousand shows

Scott & Frank:
To the east to the east
The road beneath our feet
To the west to the west
Even Lancashire’s impressed
From the north from the north
We are always back and forth
To the south, to the south
Yeah we’re always chuffing out!

Roll up and take your ringside seats for another crazy night
We hope you go home entertained, we’re here to keep it light
So bring your hearty belly laughs
Bring a thousand miles of smile
And if you go home feeling glad you came
It was worth all the while
Like the Proclaimers, we’ll drive 500 miles

Scott & Frank:
To the east to the east
The road beneath our feet
To the west to the west
Even Lancashire’s impressed
From the north from the north
We are always back and forth
To the south, to the south
Yeah we’re always chuffing out!
To the south, to the south
Yeah we’re always chuffing out!

Frank:
I face the horizon everywhere I go
I face the horizon the horizon is my home
Scott & Frank:
We face the horizon everywhere that we go
We face the horizon the horizon is our home