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lyrics

Too Good To Be Jus
Lyrics: Alan Doonican / Scott Doonican

Why do they call it a "jus"?
That runny stuff in me stew
It's like the menu's in Dutch
And that's how they can charge you so much.
Don't tell me that it's a sauce
Cos they come in bottles, of course
I'm so chuffin' narked I could sue
Those gret pillocks for calling it "jus"...

I implore you to pardon me please
It may be sauce... if it's cheese
But to call it a “jus” is just cheek
Such pretentious words that chefs speak
I like moisture in me meal
And there's only one word that's real.
So stop acting all Cordon Bleu
Before you get yer'sen a reight talking to

We call it gravy the only name that's right
We call it gravy none of that poncey shite 
We call it gravy - hear us now when we say 
We love our gravy over a Barnsley chop
We love our gravy on chip's from the chip shop
That's why we call it gravy cos its not “jus”

And when I watch Master Chef
I can't help but eff and Jeff
What is celeriac foam?
And who the chuff has consomê at home?
And when that say it's a glaze
I start to see a red haze
I'm not one for causing taboo
Have some sense and please stop calling it “jus”

We call it gravy the only name that's right
We call it gravy none of that poncey shite
We call it gravy - we’re frum the North and we say 
We love our gravy over our corned beef hash
We love our gravy with Yorkshire puds and mash
That's why wecall it gravy cos its not “jus”

credits

from Place Of Spades (2019), released June 30, 2019

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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