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lyrics

Walking In Man-Piss
Lyrics: Alan Doonican #2 / Scott Doonican
 
Hit Tarn in me new suede shoes, blue with Cuban heels
Supped pints until nature called
The time had come to brek the seal 
W.C. was handy, but when I walked in it beggared belief 
There must’ve been a blockage
The urinal had overflowed and leaked

So I was walking in man piss
Wished I was walking ten feet off of the floor
Walking in man piss, and it was too bad to ignore

Had a neet art in Sheffield - I went to see Motley Crue
Took my place near the front of the stage
To get a real good view
The security laughed suddenly
So I turned my back on the show
But a suspect yellow pint, had suddenly took flight
And drenched me from head to toe
 
Yes I was covered in man piss
It was dripping down me face and onto me shoes 
Soaked through with man piss - and there was nothing I could do…
 
I was stood there chuffing fuming                                        
And my rage it filled the air                                                       
‘cos my blue suede shoes, that were brand new                
They hadn't got a prayer                                                   
Now they were soaked with man piss                                

I went to see the doctor - as my feet had both turned blue
I'd been scrubbing at them for weeks and weeks
And didn’t know what to do
He said “Son, it’s a chemical reaction 
Must be the dye leaked from your shoes
But that would need ammonia - can you give me any clues?”

Yes I’ve been walking in man piss
I know it sounds like a pretty weird thing to do
But I’ve been walking in man piss
And it has knackered me blue suede shoes?
They were ruined by man piss
They used to be a deep blue but now they're pale grey
Faded by man piss
Now I can’t even shift them on ebay
 
Had to bin my new suede shoes the very next day
Walked round lookin’ sad and blue in the middle of the pouring rain
Walked round lookin’ sad and blue in the middle of the pouring rain

credits

from T'South 0 - Tarn 4 (2016), released May 11, 2016

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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