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lyrics

You’re So Vain
Lyrics: Scott Doonican / Björn Doonicansson
 
You walked into the party like everyone’s worst nightmare 
Like a fart inside a spacesuit, you were clearly unwelcome there 
You were showing off your extension rod 
And its telescopic end 
And all the girls thought that you were a muppet 
Wondering where they could shove it, cos... 

You’re so vain, you had to bring your chuffing selfie stick with you
You’re a pain - I wouldn’t tire from using it just to clout you,
Clout you, clout you 

There have been times when I’ve told myself
That maybe you’re just naive 
But with your i-phone 6 and yer selfie stick,
Sending pictures I don’t want to receive 
The times I drove myself to drink, to block out what I saw 
You sat on the lav, showing off your new phone-case 
Pulling a duckface 

You’re so vain and your toilet selfie doesn’t become you 
You’re a pain - No-one wants to see your intimate tattoo,
Just think it through 

…Throwback Thursday arrives and you’re far from embarrassed 
Of your snap with Rolf Harris, and… 

You’re so vain, you had to bring a bloody selfie stick with you 
My disdain is something I saved specially for you,
And your phone too 

When I heard your auntie Ethel died, I was saddened to the core 
Our hearts were with your family, she was a lady who was adored
Stood solemnly at the funeral, but clearly you couldn’t wait 
There with the corpse and a friend of the vicar 
Clicking your clicker 

You’re insane - Even with a hashtag it’s far from touching 
You’re deranged - You’ve a face I’d never tire from punching,
Punching, punching 
You’re so vain, you had to bring your chuffing selfie stick with you 
You’re a pain - I wouldn’t tire from using it just to clout you,
Clout you, clout you

credits

from The Tarn Machine (2015) [includes video​-​stream access to the album performed live], released June 1, 2015

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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