Pumping Muscles For Michelle

from 'Ave It : Bold As Brass (2017) by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican

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lyrics

Pumping Muscles For Michelle
(Lyrics: S.Doonican/A.White)

Björn had a reight crush on a local lass they called her Sally Tweedy
He thought she was a babe,
But she said that he was too weak and weedy
And as he sat and pondered why, his Swedish meatballs looking limp
It was then he saw her mate - he'd prove to her he was no wimp

Well he fancied Sally but he could not compete
Cos she likes blokes fit as hell
So now he's down the gym to impress her mate
He's pumping muscles for Michelle - Pumping muscles for Michelle

Drinking protein shakes and training darn the gym two times a day
His abs and glutes have seen more action
Than a hooker in Bombay
From his torso to his toes, he's-no-Joe Pasqualé, he's King Kong
All his muscles, except one, are feeling stiff, but not for long

She looked beneath his tanktop - her heart began to beat
He's a Swede with pecs appeal
She can't resist a feel, and she's keen ('cos he's been)
Pumping muscles for Michelle

Now all the single ladies stop and stare below his mantlepiece
He'll stoke their fire with his poker now he's got the expertise
He's got the braun to brag about
He's pumped some iron, now he's butch
They ask him to flex his pecs, but he likes his tanktop way too much

So he's ditched his flatpack, the six pack's now complete
He's a Swedish blonde bombshell
And Sally's sore as hell, cos Björn's keen
To pump his muscle for Michelle

They're queuing down the alley, they're queuing darn the street
And he's got birds fit as hell
Just falling at his feet, but he's discrete
To pump his muscle for Michelle - Pump his muscle for Michelle

credits

from 'Ave It : Bold As Brass (2017), released June 17, 2017

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The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican image

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican UK

Hailing from Barnsley, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican are Britain's hardest working comedy band. Having played over 1,100 anarchic live shows to date, they are instantly recognisable for their immaculate hair and their stylish dress-sense. The have been critically acclaimed to be the UK festival scene's undisputed Kings of Parody. ... more

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